Never burn bridges

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Something I have seen too many people do over my lifetime is burn bridges. Regardless of your thoughts and feelings for certain people or organisations, it is never wise to burn your bridges with them. Life can be very funny at times and the world can be very small, you never know when you might wish the bridge was still there. Reusing a bridge is easy; building it backup again is hard work.

Being rational and not irrational

I am often put in positions in life where I need help or favours from people to get something done. I wouldn’t manage to get the things I did and achieve what I have so far without maintaining those bridges. Keeping good relationships will make forging new ones easier and improve your reputation. Someone who burns bridges is not the most rational of people and being irrational does not look good to the world around you.

Sometimes people may annoy you, not help you or frustrate you. None of these are good reasons to burn bridges with anyone. My motto is expect nothing and be grateful for everything you get from people, if you keep that in mind you will go a long way. It is a task everyday but one that needs doing to not take hurt or offense from others you have bridges with. You can get places a lot quicker with bridges than without them.

Go forwards not backwards

The people in my life who I have seen burn bridges haven’t got very far. Normally the burning of a bridge has lead to a lot of back steps and a life of bitterness. Nobody owes you anything but you owe your life everything so I for one am determined to give my life the best chance and the best shot I possibly can.

How many bridges do you have in your life? How strong are the bridges you have? These are questions that I try to ask myself regularly and things I always try to work on. I want the world to see that I maintain a lot of great bridges, as this will make me seem like a more valuable person to organisations and people as I go forward in life and continue to achieve my goals.

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Promoting Good News

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There is so much bad news in this world that I think it is important to promote, make and share good news wherever we can. Thanks to rolling news, social media and the like we are bombarded with peoples thoughts and opinions that we never asked for or wanted at every turn. Sadly in the most the majority of these thoughts, opinions and news are negative.

I read and hear so much everyday that I don’t agree with and a lot that is just flat out wrong. We now seem to know peoples views in a way that we never did before, thanks to over sharing. Some of these views make me sad and it makes me sad when you see people have views that you never thought they had.

Don’t despair

To try and stop from despairing I now try to post as much positive and good news as I can online. As part of what I talked about last week about showing love instead of arguing, (https://adamsibley.wordpress.com/2016/02/05/love-wins-any-argument/) I am also where I can trying to actively post good and positive news, thoughts and opinions where I can, in the hope that people will be impacted by them.

I don’t believe that when you see something you don’t like on social media that unfollowing, unfriending etc. etc, is the way. I think it is important to stay in the conversation and in the connections & relationships you have built up. Never forget the reason you connected with them on social media in the first place, if it was because you care for them then what they share / say shouldn’t matter as you should still care for them.

Keeping relationships

The only way you can help, inspire or give hope is by keeping these relationships and to keep on sharing positively. Sometimes it is so hard not to react emotionally about what we read, hear or see and to react in a kneejerk way but we need to fight this as much as we can. People may not agree with what I say, my views or what I post online but as long as they read it, one day it might affect them when they least expect it.

When the world seems a sad, bad or miserable place try not to get down, just keep doing your bit and keep spreading positivity as that is all you can do and all you can do is good enough.

How social media has blurred and damaged relationships

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How much time do you spend talking to people online? How much time do you spend looking at peoples pages and feeds? When scrolling down your newsfeed to do you linger longer on some people’s updates more than others?

I think these are all important questions, that anyone using social media needs to ask themselves. For many people the real world isn’t enough and social media is treated as another life for them, which they think is better than the real world away from Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Some people now look forward to getting on social media more than they do spending time with those around them.

Constantly logging on

I use social media and I am the first to put my hand up that I use it too much. I tend to however just use it for promoting things and sharing news, rather than talking to people on it. I think it is dangerous when you are constantly logging on to see if you have a notification and to see if someone has messaged you back. I get how it can be exciting, but when we start thinking that it is more exciting than what’s happening around us, I think it is a very sad place to be.

When you start your day thinking of something to say to someone on social media that is not communicating or having a conversation, as real conversations should come easy with real friends. Conversations shouldn’t be about just saying something to get noticed and that’s what I think social media is at times – a place for attention seekers wanting to be noticed.

Getting carried away

I think for some people it is too easy to get carried away on social media and let their thoughts get carried away. Sometimes I think people try to hard to get peoples attention and misinterpret feelings when someone pays them attention. People think it is ok to get carried away, as it isn’t real life and they may not ever meet the people they are talking with. I think it is important to always try and read the signs on social media when someone might be paying you too much attention or when you are paying someone too much attention and be wise enough to do something about it.

When social media is getting in the way of work or home life, I think your use of it is out of balance. My message for anyone who uses social media is – don’t take your home life for granted, just because it is always going to be there don’t treat it like it’s not the most important thing.

Secretive

If you are secretive about your use of social media, or if you only use it when away from your friends and family then you need to start asking yourself why you do this and you need to be honest with yourself.

In this modern age I think social media is the biggest destroyer and creator of relationships. We need as a generation to be able to build relationships and keep relationships without social media. Social media should be treated as another way to communicate and we should behave in the same way as we would with human interaction. When you spend more time talking to people on social media than off it, I think life is out of balance.

Don’t let yourself be fooled in to thinking life is better on social media than it is away from it. The most important investment you can make is in those people around you, those people who are in your life and those that you don’t just talk to on social media.

Getting Your Voice Heard

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I think it is easier today than it ever was before to share our opinion with the world. A post, a tweet, an email, a status, a blog, there are now many ways that we can instantly share how we are feeling, our opinions and our thoughts with anyone who wants to read them.

Back just twenty years ago there weren’t these opportunities that we have today to communicate with the world around us. To complain about a newspaper article you would have to write a letter and post it, now you can post a comment online underneath the article. To complain to a company about poor service you would have to phone them up or go to the business premises, now you can tweet them or message them on Facebook and get a response.

If you had an opinion about something it used to be a case of just verbalising them with your friends and family, now you can write a blog or post them on social media to start conversation. Your opinion can then quickly get exposure to millions of people you will never meet and before you know it people are talking about it.

It’s a jungle out there

The problem we have though is that because there are so many people, trying to share so many opinions, it is so easy for them to get lost in the jungle, which is the online world. Sharing your thoughts is very easy now but trying to gain an audience, I believe is harder than ever. For a thought or opinion to make a difference it needs an audience and a pretty big audience to make an impact.

When you have an audience, you then need the right people in your audience. Online there are so many automated, bot and spam accounts, you never know how many actual people are reading your words. There is a huge difference between viewing and reading. So many people just scroll through their social media newsfeeds, just scanning and not actually reading, that many people will just scroll on past what you are trying to share with the world.

Real world engagement

For your voice truly to be heard you need real world engagement, not online engagement. A like or a favourite on social media isn’t going to get your voice heard. What will get your voice heard is someone reading what you type, taking it on board and doing something about it in the real world.

Don’t think just because something you said got a bunch of retweets that it is making a difference. With social media and the Internet the term ‘5 minutes of fame’ must have been taken down to ‘a few seconds of fame.’ What trends this morning probably won’t this afternoon.

If you’ve got an opinion that you want the world to hear, don’t get complacent with it. Couple your opinion with some action and keep going with it. Make sure you are talking to the right people, not just anyone. One right person hearing your thoughts and opinions can be worth more than a million of the wrong ones.

Share what you want to share

I would encourage everyone to share what they have a burning passion to share, just make sure you are always aware of you are sharing it with. Just because we have the ability to share so easily these days lets not get lazy with it, as I think in todays world it is even harder to stand out, as with this new power at our finger tips everyone is at it.

I think social media is too much about encouraging us to have our own personal accounts and I think this just leads to more isolation. I think it is more important than ever to actually work with people and band together. It’s a big world out there online and just because you are a member it doesn’t always mean you are connected or feel connected.