Love wins any argument

I don’t like arguments, I try to avoid them, as I think they are pointless and are situations when no one wins. I have blogged before on how futile they are, so these opinions of mine are nothing new to any regular readers.

Instead of getting angry with other people and venting, I wish more people just loved other people and acted in love. You see the thing is – you can’t argue with love, so if you want a guaranteed way to shut down any argument just show the other person some love.

Point scoring

Point scoring will get you nowhere! Answering back will get you nowhere! When someone is trying to argue with you they are blinded and their ears are closed, so you are wasting your breath with anything you are saying. Anything you say to them would be the equivalent of talking to yourself and I know I don’t like doing that.

I like it when people listen to what I have to say. I like people who have their ears and hearts open to what I have to say. I want to positively effect people, I want them to take in what I say. The only message I ever want to spread is love and I think in many arguments there is too much hate and disrespect. Showing disrespect doesn’t change the way people think and won’t make them respect you and your opinion.

Stop them in their tracks

Loving people feels good, arguing with them does not. Showing love doesn’t just make the person you are showing love to feel good, it makes you feel good too. Loving others encourages others to love, to show love and to be loving. Loving someone can stop them in their tracks and change how they feel about you or whatever it was they wanted to argue about.

To me this is just a continuation of my mission this year to love more than I am loved. Another area where I can show more love, another opportunity. In nearly every situation in life there is a chance to show love and I want to make sure I am taking everyone of them.

Love is a fast working natural remedy for most things in life; we just all need to use it more often. Love is a free tool that all of us can use and is not difficult to master. So why not give love a go today, you will be surprised by the impact and results it will have.

Helping others doesn’t have to cost you anything

In a previous blog I talked about my mission this year to show more love than I receive, to love more than I am loved. A big part of this for me, is going to be performing acts of kindness whenever I can see the opportunity and helping people that need help.

Its only February and already I have had many chances to help people and I have taken them all. It’s surprising when you are on the look out for ways to help others, opportunities just seem to present themselves. At the beginning of the year I didn’t think I would have found the opportunities that I have already. It’s not even been hard work to find them.

Working with the right people

One of my favourite ways I have helped people already this year is giving money to a charity to help those affected by flooded in Sri Lanka and it didn’t even cost me anything! Last year I did a Crowdfunder to get my book published. In the budget were funds to hire a graphics designer to design the cover for the book. I managed to get the graphics designer for less money than I thought I would and to top it off he passed his fee on to the charity in Sri Lanka without taking a penny for himself. If I hadn’t started the book or the Crowdfunder, these people in Sri Lanka wouldn’t have got the vital aid they received. I never thought I would be able to help people in ways like this through the book but I am so glad I could.

Eyes open

This week in work, collection boxes have been put up for donations of clothes and supplies to be sent to refugees in Syria. So this week I will be going through my home and donating whatever I can. I have things in my house, which rarely get used and could be made better use of, which I can’t wait to donate. I hope we will be able to make a real difference with what we give and again this won’t cost me anything.

Many people shy away from helping others as it either costs money or time but there are so many ways where it doesn’t have to if you just look for the opportunities. Sometimes the simplest acts of kindness are the most impactful and powerful. Anyone can help anyone regardless of what they have or don’t have and regardless of their own situation.

Letter to my daughter

Last year I became a father, which was the greatest moment in life. My wife and I were gifted with the most important job we will ever have, the chance to positively impact the life of someone who we think is so special. Our baby girl has unlimited potential, it is now our task to make sure she has the best life ever and that she is ready for anything that comes her way. We want her life to be full of possibility, opportunity, happiness and fulfillment.

Dear Lucy,

I am so proud to be your dad; nothing you could ever do would stop me from loving you, believing in you and thinking the world of you. Along with your mum I want to be your biggest fan, I want to be the one that teaches you right from wrong and that gives you the building blocks to achieve great things in life.

I want to so much for you. I want you to be dedicated and to be passionate about the things you care about and want to achieve. It is those that are dedicated and passionate that achieve great things in this world and I hope I can inspire you to be both of these things.

I want to give you the space to find your own dreams and then do anything I can to make them come true. I don’t want to live my life through you; I want to live my life with you. I can’t wait to find out about the things you are in to and enjoy doing. I will never laugh at anything you are in to or any dream you have regardless of how different or big it is.

I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything; I want you to know that I will never judge or condemn you. I will always listen and advise when I can. I won’t get angry or hurt when you don’t follow my advice as I think it is important sometimes for you to have your own opinion, to try and fail, to learn and to sometimes know more than I do.

The one hope I have for you is confidence. I want you to have confidence to be your own person, to not be led by the crowd, to have your own identity and to know who you are. I want the highest self-esteem and self worth for you. You are precious and worth more than anything else ever invented.

More than anything I want to do life with you, the ups and the downs. I want you to know you are beautiful inside and out. I want you to not let anyone bring you down and to put you off pursuing your dreams. Don’t lead the life others are leading or the life they want you to lead, keep hold of your dreams and passions – don’t give them up for anyone.

You’ve changed our world and I know you will change this world for others. I can’t wait to watch you develop in to the amazing adult I know you will be.

Love

Your Dad

A mission to love more than I am loved

I have set myself a pretty impossible mission this year, to try and show love and act more in love to others than I am loved myself. I have a wife and child that love me so much and I am so thankful for them, they show me love that I think will be impossible to beat, however with the wider world I want to spread more love through my actions, than I have in the past.

I am doing this because I think if everyone gave more love than they received, this world would be an amazing place that never ran short of love. As a Christian I know I am loved everyday by God but I am not called to be loved by the world, I am called to show Christ like love and that is what I want to do.

Looking beyond myself

There are so many people that need love in this world that you will never run out of people to love. I want to look beyond myself and when I am out and about, to look where I can to be loving to people instead of just walking on. I want to be the one that stops.

Love can be anything from just lending an ear to someone so they can vent or helping someone you see that is struggling. A little bit of love goes along way and I think it is the best chance we have of helping change the world for the better.

The great thing about showing love is that it makes you feel brilliant as well, so not only are you helping others but you are also helping yourself. I don’t want to love others for selfless reasons but I think that it is great that everyone can get something from it.

Love is an attitude

I want loving to be my attitude. I want to be forgiving, I want to turn the other cheek as many times as it takes and never let my feelings stop me from loving on people. To create change the first thing you need to change is you, love is an attitude, it is something that needs to come from within and needs to be something that is acted out everyday.

Your love or your attitude to somebody might be the only thing that is keeping them hanging on or the only thing that brightens up their day. No one is sad for no reason so cut them some slack and instead of judging, just love on them. Regardless of what has happened everyone needs a bit of love in their life. Don’t let your feelings or opinions stop you on loving others.

 

A world of love

On Saturday morning my wife brought me breakfast in bed and shared what she had just seen on the news. Paris for so many years has been known to most around the world as the city of love and as one of the countries most romantic places to visit. Sadly over the weekend this was disrupted by widespread terror attacks and loss of life.

Now I know many terrorist attacks, wars and deaths go unreported in the widespread media and there is more going on than just Paris, but I wanted to talk about it because I am a consumer of media and like to talk on this blog about its effect.

Numb

When my wife shared the news with me I felt numb. The feeling that caught me was if that this can happen in Paris it could happen anywhere. After Paris which major city will be next? The UK could quite easily be targeted; terrorism has never felt quite so close to home as it did this weekend.

An interview I heard on the radio with someone living in Paris really struck me. In the interview the lady said, “the only way we win is by keeping on living as we were and not in fear, as if we stop living they have won.” On that night in Paris friends, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, grand parents, sons and daughters all lost their ability to keep on living. If people stop living as they were, the terrorists have caused more lives to end than their weapons ever will.

Facebook

Over the weekend many people turned their profile photos blue, white and red in support of France after being asked if they wanted to by Facebook. My urge to everyone that chose to do it, is to not let the day you turn your profile photo back be the day you stop caring or thinking of them. Don’t judge people that didn’t change their profile photos and don’t judge people when they turn them back. My hope is that this Facebook activity hope promotes awareness and encourages people to action, I hope it isn’t just something to do for a weekend and to forget about.

My wife and I visited Paris a few years back and had the most amazing time in a lovely city. I would love to go back one day and nothing like this would ever stop me, just as the lady in the interview said we must keep on living.

The only thing that conquers all is love and we’ve got to be a more loving world if we want to make positive change and make a better world to live in.

A special day

I recently surprised my wife with a day out in the county we live in, which is in the south west of England called Cornwall. I thought long and hard about the types of thing she would like to do and planned an itinerary for the day, to try and give her the most fun day possible.

I think it is important when you are in a relationship to stop and do things like this from time to time. There are many tasks and activities in day-to-day life that can take up your time and take your focus away from your relationship and your loved one. So every chance we get we should make time for our loved ones and put them first. There is nothing like making someone feel loved and feeling loved by your partner.

Investment

I think one of the best investments you can make in life is in to your family and I for one am going to try and invest as much as I can in them. The more you invest your time, energy and money in to other things the stronger they will become and the weaker your family will be. I think when you are doing things in life you should always keep your family in mind. You might not always have the same job, the same friends, the same house and the same amount of money but if you invest in your family you will always have a strong unit to fall back on for love and support.

In life sadly there are too many people who never put anyone else first. I think it is important if we are to be a caring and loving society to have more people who are willing and able to put others first. We need more selfless acts carried out in this world, where people do nice things without wanting anything in return.

Creating memories

By having a day away with my wife doing things we wouldn’t normally do, we created memories and instead of it just being a run of the mill day we will always look back on it with fondness.

I am blessed to live in such a nice, picturesque county but the trap I fall in to like many others is – not taking advantage of it. We are one of the top holiday destinations in the UK for tourists so I think we should get the best of it too. Going on holiday or having a break doesn’t have to be about getting aboard a plane or heading for some exotic location. To me a holiday is just time away from the home to enjoy, relax and recharge.

So lets try and make as many days in our lives as special as we can.

I’ll Ride With You

I know I am a bit late in talking about this, which is not a good thing as everything about the online world is about being instant but I had to blog about this.

Earlier this week a siege in Sydney was shown on news outlets around the globe as many were kidnapped inside a café and some lost their lives. This was an awful story and big news, as compared to some other developed countries Australia had not had to deal with too many headlines about terror attacks in their country before.

I came home from work that day saddened by the news but then my wife told me about something that gave me hope. My wife showed me the online postings of many Australians using the hashtag #illridewithyou. For those not familiar with this, this is what Australians were posting soon after news broke of the attack to tell the Muslim population, their fellow Australians that if they were worried about travelling anywhere because of fear of reprisals that they would accompany them on their journey.

From an event that sparked fear in the hearts of many, Australians reacted with a message of love, tolerance and community. We may never know how many people did ride or walk with someone who was fearful but I think that this worked on many levels. Not only was this practical support it also spread a message to everyone, that Australia isn’t a country that would tolerate the harassment of others because of their faith which I think probably stopped a lot of that kind of behavior before it had chance to start.

In crisis and terror situations I think many members of the general public feel helpless or feel that they want to help but don’t know how but this simple hashtag showed that people can take back control. This campaign started spontaneously and was people power at its best. It showed that love is how you win people over and support them not fear or hatred.

I had the pleasure of spending 3 weeks travelling across Australia in 2011 and I can honestly say that I found Australians on the whole to be an amazing bunch of people that really do care and look out for each other. If you were ever thinking of going to Australia don’t concentrate on the siege, think about how the masses showed how much they cared for each other.