Help yourself – don’t hurt others

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One thing I have come across in the last week is how competitors in a marketplace will sometimes, instead of trying to improve themselves will try and harm their opposition. I think it is such a childish and immature way of behaving, your actions may do what they intend and harm your opposition but only at the price of harming yourself, which is very bad business.

Growing your business

If you are passionate about growing your business and developing your product, all of your time should be spent on it. Any time spent trying to harm your opposition is time wasted and a missed opportunity to further and improve what you are doing. When you try and harm your opposition, it also looks unprofessional to anyone watching on and your motives will be there for everyone to see.

By trying to hurt someone else you make your entire industry look bad. If you are a small and growing industry, this is something you cannot afford to do. It is this sort of behavior that puts people off getting involved in and supporting your industry.

Don’t react

If someone is trying to hurt you the key thing is to not react in a negative way to them. If you don’t stoop to their level or get involved with it, then eventually the people doing it will either get bored or people will turn on them. The worst thing you can do is react, as it will only keep it going longer and make you look as bad as them.

If you want your business and industry to be taken seriously you have to act like a professional at all times. You have to be the business and industry you want to be, even if you aren’t at that stage yet.

Just like you

There will be many people like you in your line of work, people with the same dreams, motivation and ambition as you. If you weren’t competing, you would probably get on. So my advice for this week is – don’t try and hurt someone that is just trying to do the same thing as you, if you care passionately about what you do, don’t ruin it for someone else.

Competition can be a great thing if it is used correctly, as it can make better products, brands and businesses, so you should crave competition. Just crave winning and not wanting other people to lose, just because it is a competition it doesn’t mean that more than one person can’t win.

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Having a vision and doing something about it

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So many of us have ideas, goals, dreams and visions in our head that we would love to do something about in our life time. Sadly it is only for a few of us that those visions are actually acted upon and something done about them.

I have a vision for something I want to create in my head at the moment and I am determined to spend some time over the summer making that vision a reality. I am allowing myself ‘dream time’ every day and trying to formulate ideas and thoughts in my head. Everyday I am trying to do something to make my idea the best it can be and everyday trying to think of the best way to make it happen.

Failure might be the greatest success

My idea may fail and all of this might be for nothing, but at least by the end of it I would have created something, have something I created be out there in the world and I will have learnt from the experience. Even failure will give me and teach me so much that I will gain a lot out of this regardless of what happens.

My idea centers around bring a new product to market. The product I think will be interesting and help people. The product might inspire other people to do something similar or to do something better. The possibilities are endless. All I know is that this summer I am starting something. The journey of the thing I start may only be short or it may go on forever, whichever one it is, it will be a journey worth travelling.

Opening up opportunities for others

Starting something opens up opportunities and opportunities are something I always want to have in abundance. The more opportunities I have, the more chances I have to live a successful and fulfilled life. Not only do I want opportunities, I want to make opportunities for others and that’s what creating something can do.

So I would like to encourage you all today to go out and make new opportunities for yourself and those around you. Your vision might not just change your life but it may change countless lives around the globe no matter what it is. So start creating, as by creating you are impacting and you are being a force for good in this world.

Keeping the ball rolling

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It is now over a year since the launch of my book “Unbreakable Bond.” I am still as passionate as I was on launch day to get this book in to the hands of many people as possible. This has meant since early 2015 I have been keeping the ball rolling on the promotion of the book.

I have no promotion team or advertising budget, so every bit of attention I have to scrap for and I am willing to scrap. Every week I try to set aside a small manageable amount of time to dedicate to spreading the word about the book. It would have been so easy for me to just blitz the promotion at the start and then do nothing, but I think this slow and steady approach has paid dividends. I am seeing constant sales of the book and regular new avenues of promotion opening up.

Mental Health Foundation

It’s like this week the Mental Health Foundation featured a piece on my book, which was seen by thousands thanks to their social media promotion:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/stories/my-mum-and-i-unbreakable-bond

This has lead to the book getting back inside the Top 10 on Amazon for its category, which is amazing. With my hard work and the support of others this book isn’t fizzling out or going away, which I am immensely proud of.

Features

I also have features coming up later this year in the Dementia Care Journal (a leading Dementia publication) and some local radio stations. Even though each week there isn’t a new article somewhere about my book, there is always something going on behind the scenes.

At the moment I am building some great relationships with important and influential people in the dementia world, which I hope will lead to great fruit in the months and years to come. Publicising something is a game that you have to keep the right mind to each week. Some weeks you get lots of support and activity because of your work and some weeks you don’t but you need to work your hardest each week regardless of what the outcome is, as it is only by doing this that great results come.

I am forever thinking of and finding new ways to promote the book and I hope that for years to come that this book continues to be a relevant and a used tool to help people currently caring for people with dementia.

To buy my book or find out more about it go to www.unbreakablebond.co.uk

Raising hope

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It seems to me at times like the world is full of people giving others false hope and raising their expectations unfairly.

A subject that is very close to my heart is dementia. For the last few years I have seen so many newspaper headlines about possible new cures or preventions for the condition, but still a universally available and used treatment seems to me, to be very far away. Don’t get me wrong I am very happy that people are researching it and trying to find a solution, I just wish it wasn’t plastered all over the news every time a possible breakthrough is found. I would just rather hear about it when a tested and proven treatment is found.

Promising the earth

Another thing I see in society a lot these days is people who will promise other people the earth without knowing if they can deliver what they said they have. It seems people are reckless with what they promise, as I have seen so many promise so much and deliver so little. I have been guilty of this too in the past, so now I am trying to be more realistic with what I can offer. I would rather offer little and deliver big than offer big and deliver little.

If someone promises something, it raises people hopes and people start thinking like it is already a done deal that those promises are going to happen. I think it is human nature sometimes to get ahead of ourselves and I think we need a culture change of how we react when people start promising things but more importantly we need a world where people stop promising things that they can’t guarantee.

Help others

I think hope is an important thing to have in life, as without hope, life can feel a little bleak at times. I hate when I see peoples hope taken advantage of or smashed to pieces when they are built up only to be brought down. A lot of my life is based on hope and I would be lost without it, so I want to do everything to keep mine whilst helping others to have hope and keep their hope.

My call to everyone reading my blog this week is to review the promises you make, think about others and be someone who delivers. Never forget how important it is to deliver on things and don’t just give up too easily, make your promises mean something and think about the people you are affecting when you don’t live up to your promises.

Asking for help

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Regularly at work I need to ask for help. Not because I don’t know what I am doing, because I need information, opinions or files from others in order to do jobs I have been tasked with. There are a wide range of people I have to ask for help from, most of which aren’t in my department, most of which are very busy people with their work and none of whom I manage or have any direct authority over. This all means that when I ask for help they don’t have to give it to me but 99 times out of 100 they always do.

In life you will always need help from others regardless of how independent or self-sufficient you are. This is why I like to pay help forward in advance, so people know that I am someone who helps others, as this will make people more likely to help you. You never know when you are going to need to ask for help, so I always try my best to take any opportunity I can to help others, regardless of if I have to or not and without seeking anything in return.

Be thankful

When someone does help you – be thankful. Not fake thankful or nonchalantly thankful but actual thankful. Take a moment to think about what they have done for you. They have given up time that they could be doing a million and one other things with, to help you. When that has washed over you, take the time to make sure they know how thankful you are. Being thanked makes you feel good about doing something and more likely to help others in the future. You being truly thankful when someone helps you can really have a ripple effect on things in the future, so make sure you are truly thankful.

Don’t be afraid

Never be afraid to ask for help. If something is too much or you can’t do it by yourself, it can feel very stressful and lonely. Asking for help can make something possible, it can take stress away and make you feel like you’re not alone any more. Helping other people and other people helping you can help build relationships, which help you in life. Asking for help if done correctly can strengthen a relationship not damage it.

Don’t expect

Don’t ever expect help, because if you do you take it for granted and will be disappointed if you don’t receive help. No one owes you anything and no one has to help you. When someone doesn’t help you, don’t hold it against them as you don’t know what that person is going through professionally and personally, just move on as I am sure there will be someone else who can. Don’t forget that person that said no to helping you today might be the person that gives you the most amount of help tomorrow.

Never be afraid to ask for help, never expect help but always be thankful for the help you receive.

Helping others doesn’t have to cost you anything

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In a previous blog I talked about my mission this year to show more love than I receive, to love more than I am loved. A big part of this for me, is going to be performing acts of kindness whenever I can see the opportunity and helping people that need help.

Its only February and already I have had many chances to help people and I have taken them all. It’s surprising when you are on the look out for ways to help others, opportunities just seem to present themselves. At the beginning of the year I didn’t think I would have found the opportunities that I have already. It’s not even been hard work to find them.

Working with the right people

One of my favourite ways I have helped people already this year is giving money to a charity to help those affected by flooded in Sri Lanka and it didn’t even cost me anything! Last year I did a Crowdfunder to get my book published. In the budget were funds to hire a graphics designer to design the cover for the book. I managed to get the graphics designer for less money than I thought I would and to top it off he passed his fee on to the charity in Sri Lanka without taking a penny for himself. If I hadn’t started the book or the Crowdfunder, these people in Sri Lanka wouldn’t have got the vital aid they received. I never thought I would be able to help people in ways like this through the book but I am so glad I could.

Eyes open

This week in work, collection boxes have been put up for donations of clothes and supplies to be sent to refugees in Syria. So this week I will be going through my home and donating whatever I can. I have things in my house, which rarely get used and could be made better use of, which I can’t wait to donate. I hope we will be able to make a real difference with what we give and again this won’t cost me anything.

Many people shy away from helping others as it either costs money or time but there are so many ways where it doesn’t have to if you just look for the opportunities. Sometimes the simplest acts of kindness are the most impactful and powerful. Anyone can help anyone regardless of what they have or don’t have and regardless of their own situation.

Letter to my daughter

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Last year I became a father, which was the greatest moment in life. My wife and I were gifted with the most important job we will ever have, the chance to positively impact the life of someone who we think is so special. Our baby girl has unlimited potential, it is now our task to make sure she has the best life ever and that she is ready for anything that comes her way. We want her life to be full of possibility, opportunity, happiness and fulfillment.

Dear Lucy,

I am so proud to be your dad; nothing you could ever do would stop me from loving you, believing in you and thinking the world of you. Along with your mum I want to be your biggest fan, I want to be the one that teaches you right from wrong and that gives you the building blocks to achieve great things in life.

I want to so much for you. I want you to be dedicated and to be passionate about the things you care about and want to achieve. It is those that are dedicated and passionate that achieve great things in this world and I hope I can inspire you to be both of these things.

I want to give you the space to find your own dreams and then do anything I can to make them come true. I don’t want to live my life through you; I want to live my life with you. I can’t wait to find out about the things you are in to and enjoy doing. I will never laugh at anything you are in to or any dream you have regardless of how different or big it is.

I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything; I want you to know that I will never judge or condemn you. I will always listen and advise when I can. I won’t get angry or hurt when you don’t follow my advice as I think it is important sometimes for you to have your own opinion, to try and fail, to learn and to sometimes know more than I do.

The one hope I have for you is confidence. I want you to have confidence to be your own person, to not be led by the crowd, to have your own identity and to know who you are. I want the highest self-esteem and self worth for you. You are precious and worth more than anything else ever invented.

More than anything I want to do life with you, the ups and the downs. I want you to know you are beautiful inside and out. I want you to not let anyone bring you down and to put you off pursuing your dreams. Don’t lead the life others are leading or the life they want you to lead, keep hold of your dreams and passions – don’t give them up for anyone.

You’ve changed our world and I know you will change this world for others. I can’t wait to watch you develop in to the amazing adult I know you will be.

Love

Your Dad