Making it means making it happy

Lots of people claim to have ‘made it’ in this life. People claim to have ‘made it’ when they get a new high power job, a new car, a new house etc. etc. But to me the people who have truly ‘made it’ are those people that are happy.

Mastering skills

Some great skills to master in life are – judging your happiness by your own standards and not pretending to be happy when you think you should be happy. When you get somewhere in life, that you think will make you happy, it is also ok if it doesn’t make you feel as happy as you thought it would. If that happens, it just means to you need to keep looking and trying until you find something that does.

Don’t let the world tell you

Don’t let the world tell you what should make you happy and what ‘making it’ is. ‘Making it’ can be whatever you want it to be. Everyone is different so everyone should have their own version, of what ‘making it’ is. Don’t be jealous when other people have achieved things, as you don’t know whether they have truly ‘made it’ or not. Just because you think someone has ‘made it’ or you think you would have ‘made it’ if you had achieved what they had achieved, it doesn’t mean they have.

To me ‘making it’ is always about the next thing I want to achieve and not about I have just achieved. It’s like when I was coaching and the team I was coaching was playing – when they were playing ‘making it’ was about winning but then as soon as the final whistle had gone ‘making it’ would have changed to winning the next game in my eyes.

Whatever it is and whatever I am doing in life I always want the goal to be happiness. I might not always find it and sometimes I might not find it where I expect to find it but I know I love being happy more than anything in the world, so I am always going to be on the hunt for as much happiness as I can find.

Advertisements

Never burn bridges

Something I have seen too many people do over my lifetime is burn bridges. Regardless of your thoughts and feelings for certain people or organisations, it is never wise to burn your bridges with them. Life can be very funny at times and the world can be very small, you never know when you might wish the bridge was still there. Reusing a bridge is easy; building it backup again is hard work.

Being rational and not irrational

I am often put in positions in life where I need help or favours from people to get something done. I wouldn’t manage to get the things I did and achieve what I have so far without maintaining those bridges. Keeping good relationships will make forging new ones easier and improve your reputation. Someone who burns bridges is not the most rational of people and being irrational does not look good to the world around you.

Sometimes people may annoy you, not help you or frustrate you. None of these are good reasons to burn bridges with anyone. My motto is expect nothing and be grateful for everything you get from people, if you keep that in mind you will go a long way. It is a task everyday but one that needs doing to not take hurt or offense from others you have bridges with. You can get places a lot quicker with bridges than without them.

Go forwards not backwards

The people in my life who I have seen burn bridges haven’t got very far. Normally the burning of a bridge has lead to a lot of back steps and a life of bitterness. Nobody owes you anything but you owe your life everything so I for one am determined to give my life the best chance and the best shot I possibly can.

How many bridges do you have in your life? How strong are the bridges you have? These are questions that I try to ask myself regularly and things I always try to work on. I want the world to see that I maintain a lot of great bridges, as this will make me seem like a more valuable person to organisations and people as I go forward in life and continue to achieve my goals.

The changing of seasons

Throughout the year the seasons change through winter, spring, summer and autumn. As I sit down and write this blog I can see the leaves falling to the ground out of the window as we go through the stages of autumn. Every year, like clockwork the seasonal changes take place but the question I want to ask this week is how often does your life change?

I think we all have seasons in our life, times where we are in a physical place, an emotional place, a career place etc. and over time we come out of those periods and move in to new places. Can you think back through some of the biggest seasons of your life? Sometimes seasons are full of storms and sometimes they are nothing but bright sunshine but with everything in life the weather can always change when you least expect it.

Moving fast

I think it is important to realise when we are in a bad season of our life and to do all we can to change it. You don’t want to get stuck in a season too long if you have the ability to change it. Life moves pretty fast and if you’re not careful it will leave you behind. It is important to know what you want in life and take control of the seasons, don’t wait for the seasons to change by themselves.

The experience of a season is important. The experience can change the way you view the world and your outlook on life. Even bad seasons can help in the long run and build you for better seasons to come. Sometimes it’s only by experiencing bad seasons that you know where in your life you want to be or where you want to go.

Don’t lose hope

Don’t forget that all seasons do change eventually and never lose hope when they don’t seem to be changing as fast as you want them to. If you are in a good season enjoy it in the knowledge that it might not last forever, don’t be afraid of it ending, enjoy what you have and be ready to move when the time comes.

The people who will succeed in life are the ones who are in control of the seasons of their life, so do all you can to be in control of yours.

Carers Week

Carers_Week_profile_photo

A few weeks back I blogged about Dementia Awareness Week here in the UK:

https://adamsibley.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/national-dementia-awareness-week/

This week it is Carers Week, another week that I feel highly passionate about. So many people in this world are doing such an amazing job, which goes unnoticed so often that anything we can do to highlight them and what they go through is very important.

To find out more about Carers Week go here:

http://www.carersweek.org/

The goal of the week is to highlight the challenges carers face and recognise the contribution they make. These were two of the main things I wanted to do with the book I wrote on dementia care, as I to believe these to be important things to do.

Just because many carers aren’t looking for reward or for a pat on the back, it doesn’t mean we should let their amazing work go unnoticed. Many carers aren’t looking for sympathy either, most are just looking for understanding.

Duty

Caring is something that will affect so many of us in our lifetime, whether it is caring for somebody else or being cared for yourself. I think it is the duty of us all to make sure that people get the best care and that the carers get the best care also.

Once you have been a carer, it is an experience you will never forget. Some like me may want to share it, but others will want to keep it to themselves. There are so many carers past and present out there that have so much experience and so many skills. I think you can learn a lot about life from a carer and that carers are invaluable to our society.

Do something for a carer

I would implore all my readers to do something for a carer this week. If you know someone who is a carer, why not just pick up the phone and ask them how they are. If you see someone in your travels doing some caring, stop to think for a second and see if there is anything you can do to help them, just the small things like opening a door for them could mean the world.

Carers don’t go around wearing a badge or a neon sign over their head, but it doesn’t mean that they aren’t all around us. Like I said earlier, there are some people you would never know are carers. When people go home from work or school, the rest of their time maybe spent caring.

I am proud to have been a carer. I am ready to be a carer again if the need ever arose and I want to do everything I can to help other carers out there.

If you want to learn more about my life as a carer, my journey and my story of caring for my mum with dementia, then please check out my book ‘Unbreakable Bond.’

To mark Carers Week the book has this week been made available through Barnes and Noble for people who use the Nook E-Reader and will be available on Kobo before the week is over. It is of course also still available on Amazon and I have put both links below for you to choose from:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/unbreakable-bond-adam-sibley/1122088956?ean=2940151449557

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unbreakable-Bond-Adam-Sibley-ebook/dp/B00UM6ATBW

My Book on Dementia

Just a short blog this Friday – to let all my readers know that, until the end of tomorrow, you can get my book on dementia care for free on amazon:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unbreakable-Bond-Adam-Sibley-ebook/dp/B00UM6ATBW

I know most of you will have already got your copy, but if you haven’t for whatever reason, I implore you to get over to amazon and download it. Even if you have no time to read it now, get it and save it for later.

I have made it free for five days to coincide with “National Dementia Awareness Week.” Anything that I can do to spread awareness and help the cause I am more than willing to do.

The awareness of my book is growing, which I am very happy about, as I just want it to help as many people as possible. The book in recent weeks has topped various amazon charts, which has meant the world to me. I don’t care about being a chart topper or a best seller for me; I just care about the number of people that this book helps.

As part of “National Dementia Awareness Week” I hope the awareness of people who care for loved ones who have dementia is increased. With the growth in the number of people battling this illness, the numbers of people caring for them will grow also.

The reason why I think it is important for all people to read dementia literature, is that sadly there is a good chance that at some point in your life you will be affected by it in some way. Having the knowledge and being prepared now, will help you a lot more when the time comes, than just waiting until it happens and then trying to find things out in amongst everything you are going through. Researching it now with a level head and without personal connections to the subject might just make a huge difference in later life.

Thank you to everyone that supports my work, without the people who support me I could never impact the world.

Finding Information

Regular readers of my blog will know that I released a book titled “Unbreakable Bond” last week, the story of caring for my mum with Early Onset Dementia. Now that it is out there and available for people to get a copy I have to make it is as findable as I possibly can. If you write something and nobody knows about it, nobody will read it.

I wrote the book with the aim of it being a support and comfort to those facing similar issues and I wholeheartedly believe that there are many people in this world who are facing those same issues. If this book doesn’t reach these people then it has failed in it’s objective. My words alone won’t help anyone; it takes people reading them for them to become helpful.

The good thing is that in this day and age of the Internet and social media you no longer need a huge marketing budget to get the word out, you don’t even need any money at all. To get the word out you just need hard work and a slice of luck. You need to find where you audience is and go to them, instead of waiting for them to come to you. You can piggyback off the popularity of websites and social media feeds and use their popularity to get the word out by posting on forums and contacting sites with big audiences.

Join the Conversation

In an online world it is so easy to start a conversation or jump in to a conversation and this is a great way to promote something. It is the old-fashioned word of mouth technique in a 21st century setting. Instead of having to talk to people face to face and one by one about something now you can have a conversation with multiple people at once that has a worldwide audience.

When promoting something the only thing that you have to make sure is constant is your hard work. You can put in the same amount of time each day promoting something, but some days you will get much better response than others. Sometimes you can post links online to a product you are trying to sell and nobody clicks through or makes a purchase then some days lots of people click through and make purchases.

Get People Talking

The best way to help people find your work is for other people to start talking about it. If people have an audience and an audience, which listens to them, you can tap in to it. When someone who is not connected with a project directly talks about it that carries much more weight than you talking about it yourself.

I think people are information hungry but that doesn’t mean we can take them for granted. If you don’t make your information easy to find people may not put in the hard work to find it, especially if you aren’t a recognised name.

If like me you have written a book on a subject that there is already a flood of information on already on the Internet, you have to work that much harder. If your project is niche or linked to a niche subject then it will be easier for people to find, but that is still no excuse for not working hard to promote it.

Getting Attention

I think it is important not to get too hung up on the number of purchases or downloads you have had for your book if you aren’t an established author. When you write something and you are promoting it you should only focus on getting attention for your book. If you set targets you will only be disappointed, it is so hard to tell sometimes which book is going to take off and it is not always the best book that does take off.

So in conclusion if you want people to find information you have written, make sure you go to your audience with that information and get their support. Don’t wait for them to find you. If you can get people passionate about your information, people will find it more easily.

To help you find my book more easily here is a link to it J

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unbreakable-Bond-Adam-Sibley-ebook/dp/B00UM6ATBW

Timing

Two years ago my mum passed away after a battle with Early Onset Dementia. In the final days I spent with her in hospital I made her a promise, a promise that I would write a book to share her life, our experiences and a book to help others around the world who may be facing similar battles.

Days after she passed I started work on this project and within 6 months I had a book I was happy with. Once I had it finished, I managed to find an amazing editor with a wealth of experience who turned our story that I had written in to a very readable book that I was beyond proud with. I then spent the last year trying to get a publisher to support the book. I talked to many people within the industry and got ever so close to getting the book to market through a publisher but sadly it didn’t work out.

This left me in a position of not knowing what to do. Did I keep on going, trying to find a publisher or did I get this book that I had a desire to share with the world out by some other means. After a lot of thinking yesterday I took the plunge and made it available to download in eBook form through amazon:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unbreakable-Bond-Adam-Sibley-ebook/dp/B00UM6ATBW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1426236586&sr=8-2&keywords=adam+sibley

That afternoon, after I had made it available to download I heard the news that world-renowned author Terry Pratchett had passed after his battle with Early Onset Dementia:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-31858156

Sometimes we do things in life without knowing why and it turns out to be a poignant and sobering moment and this was one of them.

Using what you’ve got

I will never have the money or knowledge that it will require to make the scientific developments that are needed to help us combat Alzheimer’s and Dementia but I have a heart for people and personal experience, which I think are the important things that I can bring to the battle.

I want to live in a world where there is better care for people with Alzheimer’s and Dementia whilst we wait for a cure. I want to live in the world where the general public has a better understanding for what people living with the illness are going through and know what they can do to help them. I want to live in a world where we support the people who care for friends and family members who are living with terrible illnesses. I want to live in a world where we are prepared and ready to care for others if and when the time comes.

A voice for the voiceless

Regardless of our situation and our battle we all deserve, care, support and love. There are so many people who have been robbed of their voice because of their illness, ripped of their spirit, their character and their fight. We need to be their voice, their hope and their fighter.

Let’s help each other

If you are currently caring for someone, let me on behalf of this world say thank you. We need to be a world that cares for one another and I don’t think there are many better things that you can do on this earth than care for another. We all deserve the best level of care we can get and we need more people that are willing to give it.

My book is available only through amazon at the moment in eBook form as it is the most accessible and popular place to get books from this day. For the first 90 days I had to put a price to download it so I set it at the lowest it could be which was 99 pence or cents depending on what country you are in. I didn’t want to charge for it as I just want to get it in to the hands of as many people as possible, so when I can I will be making it a free eBook. I have also not put any DRM on it so please if you do download it; please feel free to share with others. The number of downloads this book gets isn’t important, the number of people who read it is.

This isn’t my first book but it is the one I am most proud of. I hope that it is a fitting tribute and legacy for my mum. I hope that through her life and through my words we can make a difference. I hope it encourages people to seek help and to not suffer alone. If it just helps one person then the months of hard work will be so worth it. In the heat of emotional situations we make many promises and many are not kept but I am so glad that I kept this promise to my mum to write a book in her honour.