Treasuring moments in life

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Life can move at a pretty fast pace at times, if you couple this with the throwaway nature of todays society, it means that many amazing moments in life are too quickly forgotten and lost.

Feeling Valued

Yesterday I had a moment I want to treasure and hold on to. Yesterday in the mail I received a copy of ‘the Journal of Dementia Care’ one of the leading publications for dementia care professionals in the UK. In said journal there was an article by me that they had published. To get that recognition, to know that they valued my voice and my words to put me in it, was an incredible feeling and to be in a publication featuring articles from many professionals and big organisations in the field of dementia, was just mind blowing.

It got me thinking about the moments in my life recently that I want to treasure forever, like my daughter learning to pull herself up to her feet, or listening to my wife sing. I am so fortunate in my life to have so many moments I want to treasure, that I don’t want to forget them or take them for granted, as I know it is not the same for everyone.

Moments that are big to you

It is also important to not just treasure the big moments but the moments that are big to you. The moments that put a smile on your face and really bring joy to your heart, regardless of what they are, we need to live in a world where we have no shame in being proud of what we are proud of, not a world where we are made to feel little or less amazing than the next person because we choose to treasure different things.

A moment to treasure can get you through a tough day, tough week or tough year. The power of a moment to treasure is something, which we need to value and appreciate. These special moments can motivate you on to even bigger and better things in your life if you to choose to use them.

The good moments in life are the ones that give you hope in the bad times and make this life worthwhile. I am already excited for my next one and to when I can start looking back at all of them in later life, remembering the rich life experience I have had.

On the verge of giving up

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Have you ever felt on the verge of giving something up? Ever had those moments in life where you can’t seem to get anywhere no matter how hard you try? Moments where you have invested so much time and energy, moments where you think you have tried attacking the problem from every angle imaginable? I have had some of these recently.

In all of these situations, I have chosen not to give up. The simplest thing anyone can use and that anyone can have is persistence; you would be surprised how far persistence can get you. Sometimes in life the way to win the battle, is to just be more persistent than anyone else. It takes a brave person to be persistent but a lot of the time it can pay off.

A different approach needed

It can seem like the world is against you at times and people don’t want you to get to where you want to get. A lot of the time I can tell you that actually no one is against you. Sometimes it’s just a bit more waiting, a bit more effort or a different approach that is needed.

If you have something you want to achieve, don’t stop until you have achieved it. If the thing you wanted to achieve means something to you, it is worth the time, the stress and all the hard work. Don’t let how far away your goal seems, do anything to diminish the hunger you have to achieve it. Hunger can eat up any distance.

Confidence

It’s important not to give up in the small areas of life as it gives us renewed confidence with the bigger areas. It’s like I will continually search for the cheapest way of getting things or to get reductions in cost of contracts I have, it may take me a while and sometimes it seems like I’m getting nowhere but eventually I normally do find the best deal and a better deal for me and my family. The victories I have here give me the belief to fight for the bigger things in life, the belief to get me and my family where I want us to be.

So if you are on the verge of giving up just think to yourself – what is a bit more effort? Compared to the feeling of not accomplishing what you set out to accomplish? Make today the day of not giving up and the day of continuing our journeys.

2016 the year of living intentionally

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In our house over the last six months the big world has been ‘intentionally.’ Intentionally is the way we want to live our life and spend our time. We started at the back end of 2015 trying to live more intentionally but now for 2016 we want this to be a whole year of living intentionally.

In the last week of 2015 we thought about and wrote up our 2016 list of intentions. Our intentions aren’t like resolutions with very specific outcomes or all about self-improvement. Our intentions are a guide to how we want to live our life and put up there so we don’t forget what we want out of life. All of our intentions are things we can control and aren’t reliant on anyone or anything else.

Purpose

To us living intentionally is about doing things with purpose and when we are doing things, making sure that we have the reasons for why we are doing something etched firmly in our minds. This is even more important to us now with a baby to look after. Her development and growth is so important to us that we want to make sure that everything we do is helping her and that time isn’t wasted.

We don’t want to live life without a plan any more. We want to have targets and reach them. My wife and I have always been big fans of plans. We would take joy in planning the schedule and timetable for weekends and holidays but this is something bigger and different. Our plans now aren’t about minutes and hours; they are about life and are applicable to everyday of the year. We don’t want to be better some days of the year; we want to be better everyday of the year.

Committed

We would often find ourselves getting annoyed or frustrated when we hadn’t achieved what we wanted from a day, failed to reach a target or just felt like we had wasted time. We have always had goals and still do, but now by living intentionally they feel achievable and I know if we keep committed to this way of life we will achieve them.

Our list is filled with things to help TeamSibley as a whole and the individual members of it have better days, to grow as individuals and as a group, to help our mental and emotional wellbeing and most importantly things to make life fun. I am a true believer that if you make life fun, life becomes easier and although living intentionally requires thought and work, it will make life more fun, so it will be so much easier. With our way of life all our energy will be invested in moving forward and we will have to invest less in the emotional strain of when things aren’t going the way we wanted them to.

I hope others will take on the challenge this year of living their life intentionally, as I truly believe that it will change our lives for the better.

Rested and recharged

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In the UK, many of us this weekend just gone, will have been enjoying 3 days off work for the Bank Holiday weekend. Weekends for me normally go way too fast and before I know it I am back at work again but that extra day makes all the difference when we get a Bank Holiday weekend. Instead of feeling like I haven’t really had a break, I will go back to work this week a bit more rested and happy in the knowledge that only a 4-day week lies ahead of me.

Scared of taking a break

In today’s world there seems to be many in our society that are on the go 24/7. People who are constantly chasing success, constantly trying to achieve something or make something happen. Many people out there seem to be scared of stopping and taking a break and many that think success is all about being busy or being seen to be busy.

I wouldn’t want to do business with someone that is too scared to rest. To me if someone is too scared to rest they are scared of losing things and I would rather do business with people who aren’t scared of losing things, but who want to achieve something.

Lazy is an opinion

I think we as a society need to stop looking at people who rest as lazy. Yes there are lazy people in this world, but they are only lazy in your opinion. If it is someone’s goal just to have the most peaceful and restful life they can, what is wrong with that? If you want to be a busy person that is your decision, don’t think that everyone else should be or look down on others who aren’t as busy as you.

To me the only sure fire way to long-term success is to rest well. Having the ability to rest properly enables us to make the most of our awake time. These last few weeks my wife and I have been watching the World Athletics Championships and the thing that strikes me is that those who are on top of their game are the ones who know the importance of rest and looking after their body. Yes these athletes train harder than anyone else in their field, but they wouldn’t be able to do this without their rest, as it is the rest that restores and repairs them to go again the next day.

Making the right decisions

One of the main factors of success is making the right decisions and I always find that the best decisions are made when you are thinking clearly, I don’t think many great decisions get made when you are tired. Tiredness I find stops me from thinking clearly or thinking before I speak. I want to make sure in life that I make great decisions all the time, as it only takes a few bad ones to send you down a path that you don’t want to go and that isn’t the best for you.

So the two things I always want to do in life are, know what I want to achieve and to do it in the best and healthiest way properly. The key to this I think is resting well.

There is an ace in there somewhere

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One of my favourite analogies about opportunities in life that I have ever heard is this:

“Life is like a deck of playing cards, there are 4 aces in a deck, you may just have to turn over 48 before you find one.”

Don’t get annoyed

This has stuck with me through life and is one of my mantras. Whenever I try something and it doesn’t work, I try not to get annoyed about it and instead just think that I am one move closer to finding my ace, which will be my success.

I think people give up too easy in life sometimes. The thing they want to achieve maybe achievable and about to happen but because they stopped turning over cards they didn’t get any closer. The amount of times you fail has no bearing on whether you will be successful or not, if that success is out there to be had, it is out there and the only way you will miss out on it is by giving up.

One more try

I don’t want to be the person in life that would have achieved something, if only I had given something one more try.

I think the aces and life analogy is true for so many things in life. You can apply this to job hunting, building business, dating, making friends, house viewing etc. etc. etc. Some people are lucky and they turn over an ace at the first attempt but it doesn’t mean they are any more or less deserving than you to achieve something. Everyone’s route is different but the success remains the same and that is the most important thing of life’s journey.

Different routes

By not turning over an ace on your first attempt, it forces you to try different things and go in different directions. This process of turning over cards can make you so much more informed and experienced, than if you were to get it right away. What you learn on this journey can help you appreciate the ace even more when you have it in your hand. It can also give you the ability to hold on to it for longer and to go on the hunt for more aces.

In life the deck of cards you get played isn’t what’s important, but how you play them is. Finding the aces isn’t always going to be easy, but there is no such thing as magic and the only way to find them is by working hard and never giving up. The other 48 cards in the deck are there to test you, but it’s important that you don’t let them beat you. Learn something from every card and move on.

Sometimes life doesn’t play you the hand you want or expect, so be prepared. In life we have to expect the unexpected at times and be ready to find the solution that will keep us moving forward. You decide where you move forward to in life, if you get blinded by the prettiness of the queen and stop there, you will never reach your full potential.

30-Minute Burst Challenge

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Last week I blogged about getting out in the garden and doing some gardening because of the lovely weather we are experiencing, here in the south west of England:

https://adamsibley.wordpress.com/2015/04/15/the-sun-is-here/

Our back garden is quite big and in the back we have two areas that need a lot of love, the front garden is small, but again there are two flower beds that really need some attention. Since my last blog about gardening my wife and I have been out in the gardens keeping up the commitment, in the hope to see them one day looking good and becoming easy to manage.

I tend to go out in the garden and work in 30-minute bursts. I do this because I am a believer in quality over quantity. I believe working at things in this fashion is the best way and is how I attack many projects in life.

If I go out and spend 2 hours in the garden, many things will happen. The first thing is – I will get tired. When you get tired that normally leads to many things happening, like putting less effort in, liking the job less and being much less likely to want to go out and do more tomorrow. With working in 30-minute bursts I don’t get bored, I don’t get tired and at the end I always want to do more.

I would much rather keep hold of that feeling of wanting to do more when I come in over that of wishing I had stopped earlier. I think you will get more done in 4 30-minute bursts than you would in a 2-hour session. If you are going to put the hard work in, you should want to get the maximum reward for it.

Another thing I do is I don’t set myself targets of what I want to achieve when it comes to gardening. I think if you set yourself goals and you’re like me, you will want to achieve them and by doing this you end up rushing and not doing a thorough job. Sometimes (especially with weeding at the moment) jobs take you longer than you expected and if you set yourself a goal you would either be disheartened that you didn’t achieve it, or annoyed with yourself that you didn’t do a thorough job.

I haven’t set myself an end date for when I want the garden complete, but I know I am going to keep working at it until that day comes, because of the manageable system my wife and I have. By doing 30-minutes a day I don’t resent it, it doesn’t tire me out and I can fit it in to most evenings, without affecting anything else we have planned to do.

I would encourage everyone to take up the 30-minute burst challenge and see how it helps you to achieve something that you have been trying to achieve this year.

Everyone can Support Someone

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I think there is one thing that so many of us are all capable of that can change the world. That one thing is supporting someone. We can all do things in our own right and by our own hands to change the world, but we can do more and make more change by supporting others.

Someone’s dreams can be made or broken by the support of just one person. When you are trying to achieve something and your passion, commitment and determination are being tested, it can just take one supporting word from another to keep you going.

When someone supports something you are doing it can make it all feel worthwhile. Support can make you push even harder to achieve something, it can raise your conviction and let you know what you are doing is good, is wanted, is needed.

I think too often we break each other down or question each other’s motives, instead of showing them support. You may never know how someone is feeling or the pureness of their heart, but I would rather give them the benefit of the doubt and try to help, than to let their dreams fall to pieces.

Supporting someone can take many forms. It can be buying something somebody is selling, promoting them on your social media feed, giving them words of encouragement, giving them ideas, putting them in touch with someone else who can help, giving them financial support and the list goes on.

There are many things you can do to support others, which will cost you nothing and not impact your day-to-day life in any negative way. To give support costs nothing but to receive it is priceless. Your support can be all it takes for something big to happen in this world, never under estimate the power of it.

Last week I received some amazing support for my book project after having a fair few doors slammed in my face, but it was that one piece of support that meant more than those many slammed doors. That is how powerful support can be, it can outweigh any amount of negativity.

Lets be a world that supports each other and sees real amazing change happen in our lifetime.

Dreaming of success

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If you’re anything like me, you dream about success. When there is something big that has the potential to happen you immediately start thinking of what life would be like if it did happen. No longer are you thinking of how to achieve it as you now have made your mind up that’s it going to happen and that is what life is going to be like.

I think the most common time people act like this is when they have brought a lottery ticket, are applying for a new job, auditioning for a role or starting a new business venture. I am not one of those people that sign up to the ‘life is about the journey not the destination’ way of thinking, I very much think that life is about the destination but you shouldn’t be thinking about the destination before you get there.

Long-term success

Getting the long-term success you crave is based on being successful at every step and turn on the way. It’s only when we get to our destination that the journey starts to matter less. To achieve that long-term success, you need to be present in every situation, daydreaming about it today will make it less of a reality tomorrow. You have to know that there are other people out there that want the same things as you do that are willing to focus on those small steps and do the hard work, so you have to be prepared to as well.

For many people success is about being wealthy. If you want to be wealthy your goal should be to do something that generates wealth, it’s a small change but if you are willing to change your thinking I think you will be more likely to succeed. Success in life isn’t always about having the biggest dream but it is more often or not about being willing and able to work harder than anyone else to achieve something.

Focus

I think the reason why so many people give up on their dream or don’t achieve their dream is because people spent too much time dreaming without focusing on their reasons for that dream and their passion for that dream. It is too easy to get lost in the world of dreaming and it is a very dangerous world, as it stops us from achieving what is possible. It’s important to keep reminding ourselves what is important to us and why it is important.

Another time when we can tend to get carried away with ourselves is when someone tells us that there might be a chance of something happening. This can be when a friend says that you should go and do something together or when your boss tells you there may be a work trip coming up or the possibility of a pay rise. We all need to get better at not getting carried away when we hear these things, as just because someone wants to do something or thinks something is going to happen, it doesn’t mean that it will.

If you do get carried away with an idea it only makes you feel worse when it doesn’t happen. Never get sucked in to thinking something will happen before it actually has. We can’t afford to be a complacent generation. There are so many things in life we can’t control that happen around us but there is so much we can control that goes on inside of us.

Having dreams is good but I think dreaming of what life will be like when you achieve that dream can be bad as those things aren’t your dream, they are just things that could happen if you achieve your dream but won’t happen if you don’t achieve your dream. The more you think about life after achieving your dream the more you have to lose.

Don’t get carried away

It’s hard to do, but we need to stop ourselves from getting too carried away. I know I have dreamed of many things in my life and automatically jumped to what life will be like if I achieve those things. I have done this over and over again, but this year will be different as I have goals and I am going to try and spend my time succeeding on those small steps that will make up the journey. Taking them one by one and at each one waiting until I succeed until I take the next step.

Don’t set yourself up to fail, set yourself up to succeed.!

International Support

Most weeks I will check the stats for the blog to see what people are reading and what subjects have really engaged them. The one section of stats that I absolutely love though is the one where I can see the countries that my visitors are coming from.

At the moment it seems like each week I check my stats there are new countries represented. It would be amazing if one day the stats showed that someone in every country on the planet had viewed this blog. That’s the thing I love about the internet, how when you post something at any time of day someone, somewhere can click a link or type in a web address and read your work.

A Connected World

We live in a world now where you don’t even need to go to a country or place to have a positive impact on it, which I think is super cool. A world where you can change the world in your sleep. We are a more connected world than we have ever been before and the possibilities to share in each other’s life are there for us to take.

I am appreciative of every view this website gets and I thank each and everyone of you for taking the time out to read my blog, regardless of what country you come from, but it does always touch me when people whose first language isn’t English take the time to read.

I wish I was fluent in a second language and had the ability to converse with people of other nationalities in their language and read information from their countries. I am also pretty sure that there are many bi-lingual and multi-lingual people out there who’s English is far superior to mine, which puts me to shame really.

A Thirst for Knowledge

I am though so glad that there is this thirst for information and knowledge that people aren’t letting language be a barrier to obtaining it. I wish I could translate this blog properly and have it available in multiple languages to make it easier for people to read, as I think that would open up some important and big audiences.

More than ever I think many of us now understand how important the events in other countries are and how they impact us all. The world is also a more open and accessible space these days, so I think we should be encouraged to learn and understand other languages. I think the English speaking world has it much easier than most other countries when it comes to conversing with the world due to the number of English speakers, but I think it is important that we don’t get lazy with it and that we appreciate the position it affords us.

Shared Experience

I wish I could be there sitting with one of the viewers of this blog from another country when they read it and talk about it with them. I would love to know what they think about what I am saying and how their opinion or viewpoint might differ to mine because of their background or culture.

No one person can experience everything or know everything. This is why I am so keen to use the Internet to share my thoughts and experiences, but to do it in a way where I can connect with others and learn from them as well. I don’t think there are many people out there that you can’t learn something from.

To the people who have not let language be a barrier to their development, dreams, opportunities and thirst for knowledge, I salute you. In life there are so many things that can stop people from achieving what they were put on earth to achieve, so for those that push through them I will be forever impressed.

Don’t let language or anything be a barrier to success in your life. If there is something you want to achieve, its time to go out there and achieve the things you need to achieve to make it happen. If you want to change the world in a positive way don’t let anything stop you.

You succeed when you help others succeed

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One thing I can’t stand in life, is when I see people who are deliberately trying to stop other people from succeeding. If you work for a company or as part of a team, at some point or another to achieve success you are going to need the support of others to succeed. Sadly, in most endeavours it’s not just about what you do and how you act that will determine how successful you are.

To get ahead and stay ahead it seems that most opt to try and keep others down and go out of their way to make sure that others don’t succeed. This can be done in many ways, from not supporting someone, not sharing information with them, keeping ideas to yourself, criticising them and talking badly about them to others.

Dismissive People

The problem with people who act in these ways is that they think they are better than others, but they don’t know if they truly are or not. These types of people don’t look objectionably at someone or their work; they just dismiss them and their work. Most of the time this will be before even looking at what they have done as they have already decided they are going to try and find holes in it.

If people stopped to help others and talk with them, not only would they help them but I think they would learn a thing or two, which will help them succeed in the long-term. By stopping others from succeeding you are just getting in your own way. The people around you can have lots of experience and ideas that you can benefit from, they are a resource so lets be sure to use them.

You will learn more from others around you in life than you will from most other sources. Sharing their ideas, energy and enthusiasm can help you achieve so much in and out of work. Other people will help you think in different ways and share experiences that you may never have yourself, but if you all do is criticise them they will probably be reluctant to share all these things with you.

Invest Your Time Wisely

If people invested more of their time in helping others and themselves than they did in criticising and stopping others then they could be even more successful than they ever thought possible. People think stopping others succeeding is a sign of strength but I think it’s the biggest sign of weakness.

If all you do is constantly criticise then with every word of criticism that comes from your mouth the less impact it will have. If this is all you do, people will soon stop listening to you and you might as well just be talking to yourself.

Thinking of Others

Are you willing to put the success of a project or a company above your own issues and problems? I think most people in a professional sphere are judged by the projects they have been involved in and most companies are looking for people who put the good of the team before themselves. So just from an employability standpoint alone, it makes sense to help others working on the same project as you succeed, because if they succeed hopefully the project that has your name attached to it will.

If I ran a company I would want each and every one of my staff to succeed, because I know if they were succeeding my company would succeed with them, as success breeds success.

I think if you are in a position of power it is important to make sure that you discern who around you is trying to succeed and do all you can to help them. It is also important to discern when criticism levelled at people is unjust criticism and do all you can to help and support those involved, from the one doing the criticising to the one on the other end of it.

Getting Ahead

Never forget when whilst you are criticising someone, someone else somewhere is investing that time in learning more, gaining more skills and improving themselves. I know what I would much prefer to be doing. I’ve never seen a job advertised with criticism in the title or criticism of others being a required skill.

People who just criticised never changed the world but people who were brave enough to do things and try things did. Lets not let this be a race to the bottom with whoever can bury someone the deepest winning, lets make this a race to the moon.